Shoulding on Yourself

Stop Shoulding on Yourself

This picture is of me and my wife, Natalie, talking with Leanne Smith via ZOOM.

Tinderbox Marketing, which is a fancy way of saying me and Natalie, hired Leanne to help us figure some things out with our finances as business owners. Leanne is a Profit Coach with Pursuit of Profit, which is a fancy way of saying she helps you figure out your money when you own a business. She has a different way of thinking about money and helps you through your behaviors. She believes that behavior drives how we manage our money and coaches you based on that belief. I’m not lying when I say it was the best money we’ve ever spent on our business, our finances, and our marriage.

I give you this background because context is important here. While talking with Leanne the day this screenshot was taken, Natalie and I were lamenting some of the financial decisions we’ve made in the past. You know, a should’ve, could’ve, would’ve kind of conversation. Leanne said something off the cuff that was so profound. She said, “stop should-ing all over yourself.” What she meant was basically that what’s done is done. And while we need to learn from our mistakes, we shouldn’t be focused on them. We should be focused on not making the same mistakes by staying focused on the tools she was giving us.

It’s been said that you should live life looking through the windshield and not the rearview mirror. The rearview is a necessary tool; it helps you see where you’ve come from and what’s behind you. But you can’t drive looking at the rearview mirror. You can only drive looking through the windshield, with the occasional glance back. This is what Leanne was saying when she said to stop should-ing on ourselves. Yes, we made bad choices, but we should forgive ourselves and start making better choices and stop fixating on the bad. The bad happened. It might happen again. But like riding a bike for the first time, you’ll only hit the tree if you fixate on it.

Fixate on the good. Fixate on the choices you want to make. Don’t fixate on the mistakes. Stop should-ing on yourself.

Shoulding on Yourself

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